Too many things repeating themselves
by Ioana03
Summary: And the history repeats itself... Only with a different person. A new ferryboat accident, new problems. Alex/Addison/Mark.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, everyone! Here is a story I wrote while I was in a trip. It seems like my inspiration comes faster when I am in new places. :) **

**Addison is my favourite character, so I decided to write a story having her as the main character. I hope you will like it. I would like to hear your opinions, so reviews are more than welcome!**

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><p>Do you believe in fate? In signs? In almost supernatural coincidences? I do not. We are surgeons. We have human lives in our hands. A mistake, no matter how small, might mean the end. When you have a heart pulsing in your hand, you are too busy to believe in miracles and other childish notions. Including magic, love and total happiness. What we believe in is what we see every day in front of our eyes: hard work, devotion, survival.<p>

The rain was falling mercilessly on the ground, whipping the trees, the leaves, the tiny delicate flowers. The lightning bolts were tearing the dark sky and the furious sound of hungry lions was following closely. She was staring blankly at the big rain drops on the large window. _"It's a good day to save lives,"_ someone would say. But is it? All she would really do on a day like that was watching TV with a big ball of ice-cream. That's right, she would eat a ball of ice-cream. But only that one time! She was startled when her pager went off. She was wanted in the…break room? What?

While walking to said room, she heard almost everyone's pagers going off. Okay, it was serious. She started to walk faster and opened the door to the break room. To find who? Her ex-husband and the man whom she had cheated her ex-husband with having some sort of argument. _Isn't this just perfect?_

"Addison!" Mark finally noticed her. "Thank God you're here."

"Funny, this is what _she_ once said about _you_," Derek said, fixing Mark with his eyes.

"Derek, seriously," he replied. "This is a major crisis. Dozens of people are probably dying right now and all you can do is include our personal life in this?"

"What? Did you just say 'our'? Interesting, I don't remember having anything to do with…"

"Doctors!" she interrupted.

"Yes?" they both answered.

"Firstly, Derek, Mark is right," she spoke. "Don't include your personal life in this. Second, who's dying? What's happening?"

Derek glared at her and she answered the same way. "Ferryboat accident," he replied shortly. She looked at him in disbelief. She remembered it. It had happened before. It had been painful to watch even for her. For her, who was strong and detached. Meredith… She died and came back to life. She saw her dead and then she saw her talking. Of course, everything was a metaphor. Coming back to life? Visiting the other world? Of course not. Why do people believe in such things? She didn't know. You can't touch them, you can't feel them, you can't taste them. QED, they're not real. "Again?" she asked.

"What can I say?" Mark spoke. "I guess ferryboats are not as safe as you'd think they are."

"Ferryboats are just fine," Derek slowly said, emphasizing each word.

"Doctors!" she said again.

"Yes?"

"If people are probably dying, as you say," she spoke, looking at Mark, "why are we here, arguing over the smallest things, instead of running over there to save them?"

"Two of us have to stay here with Torres, Burke and the Chief. One of us has to go," Mark explained.

"And?"

"And, I'm trying to explain Mr. Plastics here that victims with major brain damage might arrive, so I have to be here to save them."

"Are you saying I would be useless here?" Mark asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm saying that you'd be more useful out there. I haven't seen a plastic surgeon saving a life lately."

"Derek!" she interrupted. "No one would be useless, okay? Maybe you haven't seen some mere plastic surgeon saving a life, but I know and you know that Mark does that. Now, if we are over with this stupid argument, let's get going."

"So…Who goes?" Mark asked.

"I do," she answered.

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><p>It was huge. Dark and morbid and huge. Blood. Screams. Pain. A young paramedic almost bumped into her. "I'm sorry."<p>

"It's okay," she nodded. On the stretching he was holding was a woman. A girl. Seventeen, maybe eighteen years old. A corpse. Why is it happening? It shouldn't be happening. Her blonde hair was falling messily on her shoulders, covered in blood and dirt. The huge rain drops were whipping her pale face, creating a killing contrast with the already coagulated blood.

"What do we do now?"

"Save everything we can save. It has happened before, you know what to do. Be fast, there is no much time," she heard Dr. Bailey instructing her interns. And they were gone. Lost in the sea of corpses, blood and tears.

"And the history repeats itself," Miranda murmured as she stepped into the nightmare as well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello, everyone! Firstly, I want to thank _tiburito85_ for reviewing and everyone else who subscribed. Here is Chapter 2, a very short chapter, I'm sorry. I promise the next ones will be longer. These being said, please, read and review!**

"Derek," he said, as he stepped into the elevator.

"I'll take the stairs," Derek quickly retorted, trying to get out.

"No, you don't," he stopped him. "For once, you will stay and you will listen to me," he told him seriously.

Derek stopped and took a few steps behind. The elevator doors closed. Two people in an elevator. Two men who once were such good friends and knew so much about each other, that they became enemies. "What do you want, Mark?"

"I want to talk to you. We used to be best friends."

"Used to."

"Derek! I'm sorry, okay?" he said, honestly. "I'm sorry. I can't go back in time. That's all I can do now, apologize."

"True."

"True. So that's what I'm doing. I apologize. Somehow, I lost my best friend and the woman I loved."

"Somehow, so did I."

"Derek," he said and looked at him. "I talked to her. Back in New York. I talked to her. She loved you. She needed you. You were never there for her. You can't use the job as an excuse. You were both surgeons, but she still could find time for you. I'm not so sure about the love part."

"You don't get to criticize me," he raised his voice. "I loved her, Mark!"

"Not as you love Meredith."

Silence. "That's what I'm saying," Mark continued. "I can't go back in time. If I could, I would. I know I wouldn't have the woman I love, but I would have you AND her as my best friends and that's more important."

Silence.

"Think about it," Mark said, as the elevator doors opened. He stepped outside and looked deep into his old friend's eyes. The doors started to close. He turned around and started to leave. Derek stretched his leg and held the doors with his foot.

"Mark!"

He stopped and turned around.

"Sometimes," Derek said, "she looks at you the way she used to look at me."

They smiled to each other as the elevator doors slowly closed.

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><p>The storm was not gone. It was far to being gone. The lightnings were almost touching their wet, frozen foreheads. The angry lions were almost biting them. Covered in blood and dirt. Tired and sick. Not being allowed to be tired and sick. Not being allowed to feel overwhelmed. Having to accept every single help request. She tried to wipe the cold rain drops off her face. No success. Her hands, her hair, her chlotes, everything was wet. That's when she saw her. A woman, probably in her early thirties, exactly near the water. She was trying to move, to get up, but the wound on her leg was keeping her in place. She ran up to her. "Hi, I'm Dr. Montgomery," she said.<p>

"H-Hi," the woman stuttered.

"Let me see your wound," she said and leaned down.

"No," the woman quickly retorted.

"Okay, how about that… What is your name?"

"Amy. It's Amy."

"Amy, the wound might be serious. It doesn't look good. Please, let me take care of it."

"No!" the woman raised her voice.

Addison's vision started to become a bit blurry. Her head started to hurt and she was breathing hardly. She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to brush the sensation away. "Amy…"

"No, really. I'm okay. Go take care of other patients."

Addison took a deep breath and shut her eyes again. "Amy," she said. "I am a surgeon. One of the best, for your information. A neonatal surgeon. Do you see me at the hospital operating on babies or monitorizing pregnant women? No. I'm here. Because I know you, the people who were part of this accident, need my help more than…"

She trailed off. She couldn't breath anymore, her head was hurting more and more and she was getting dizzy. She stood up, trying to recollect herself.

"It's not about that," she heard Amy's voice. "Really, it's more serious… Dr. Montgomery? No! Dr. Montgomery!"

Her words were losing in the distance, as the dark waters grabbed her and started to pull her down. She realized where she was. She knew she had to get out. Her eyes were closed and her hair was delicately embracing her neck. She had to get out… but why? It was feeling good. Yes, it was feeling good… But even so, she knew it. She had to get out. There were two worlds. Metaphorically, of course. She could go on and live her non-perfect life or she could let the big scary water take her. And she knew it. Land was feeling better than ocean. She had to get out. She was not Meredith. She had to. She had to… The cold water was caressing her body and she was slowly slipping in the unknown darkness. Silence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello, everyone! Chapter 3 is up! I've decided that from now on, each chapter (or half a chapter, it depends) will be in first person, from someone's POV. So, here it is. Please, read and review!**

"Help! Please, somebody help me!" I heard a panicked woman's voice screaming. Where was she? Should I go? There were dozens of victims, I didn't know where to look first. It was an ocean. An ocean of blood and pain. We are surgeons, we can't be overwhelmed by this. And I was not. But I didn't know where to run first. Everyone needed our help, but we were a few, they were many. I decided to see where the voice came from. Right near the water, I saw a woman. She was crying. I didn't know why. I saw the wound on her leg, but she seemed scared. I ran up to her, my eyes slightly wide. I leaned down to her. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"No!" she yelled and tried to move away, but the wound kept her in place.

"Easy," I said and touched her leg.

"No!" she yelled again. I saw terrified tears forming in her already red eyes. "Dr. Montgomery… Dr. Montgomery…" she managed to say between sobs. Maybe she was pregnant. Maybe she was a friend of Dr. Montgomery.

"I'm sorry, I don't know where Dr. Montgomery is right now, I'm Dr. Karev."

"No… Dr. Montgomery…" it seemed to be everything she could say. I understood, she was scared. She was part of that huge accident but dude, really. Calm down! I tried to stay calm and do my job.

"Here, let me check your wound. Dr. Montgomery will see you later if you want."

She started to calm down. She started to breath normally. Thank God, I didn't know how long I would resist. Her face and voice however, were serious. Too serious. "No, Dr. Karev," she said. "She…" she took a deep breath. "She fell. In the water."

My heart stopped beating in that moment. I looked straight at her. My eyes were huge and my mouth was slightly opened. I couldn't breath anymore. I was having a feeling, a bad feeling, but I didn't want to believe it. I refused to believe it. Maybe it wasn't real. Maybe I had no reason to be scared. But all I knew was that it was real. That I was scared. Why was I so scared? Why did I freeze like that, not able to move or speak? Why was I terrified and angry at the same time?

"Wh-Who?" I asked quietly.

"Dr. Montgomery," the woman slowly answered.

I heard it. It wasn't a feeling anymore, it was reality. So many emotions took over my body. It wasn't my body anymore. I'm not even sure what I did. All I remember is taking off my jacket, throwing it somewhere – God knows where. And then, the water. The black, killing water. I don't think I said anything. It would've taken too much time. I had no time. _She_ had no time. I let myself go in the dark abyss. I was practically commiting suicide. I couldn't think of a human being able to survive that deep, terrifying place. Maybe it was only the panick of the moment. Maybe it was not. I was swimming and swimming and she was nowhere to be seen. Holding my breath was becoming almost impossible. But then… I saw her. Falling defenselessly like a raindrop on the unforgiving ground. She was near me, she was in front of me. If I had left her there, she would have gone. She was same close by disaster and survival. But even so, she didn't look weak. She looked the same, as I was seeing her every day on the hallway of the hospital: strong, determined, ambitious. I can't believe these words coming out of my mouth, but that's what I felt. And I hope I will never feel that again. When you are in a situation like that, you start to see life another way. No. You start to see life. To really _see_ life.

I felt like I couldn't hold my breath anymore. I slipped a hand around her waist and the other one in the small of her back. I was like a kid holding a doll. It has no life, but you feel it. And if I didn't feel it anymore… But that was not going to happen. I was hoping it was not going to happen. With no other look, I started to go up. The light of 'outside' was so close, and yet so far. I closed my eyes for a moment. It was too hard. Too hard. I opened my eyes and looked at her. Would she let me give up? No. It was enough. In a few seconds, we reached our goal. I held her tightly in my arms. Her head fell on my shoulder. I took a few deep breaths before finally getting ourselves out og the water. The rain was whipping her pale forehead, her pale eyelids, her still beautiful lips.

I touched her cheek with one of my hands and touched the side of her neck with the other one. She had pulse. Her heart was beating. I had been fast. I had saved her from something worse. I pushed her chest. No reaction. I pushed harder. She coughed. Once. Twice. And that was it. "Dr. Montgomery!" I said. "Come on! Dr. Montgomery!" No response. "Come on, Addison," I whispered. She wouldn't let me give up. I was not going to let her give up.


End file.
